If you haven't, please pause and read my back story....

While some people view food as a tool for positive body goals and life enhancement, I think many struggle with the reality that is the American diet, culture and body dysmorphia -- but this is my story so I'll tell it from my heart in the hopes that it motivates the curious whom are also afflicted by it. And please know, whatever voice you're arguing with I pray you conquer it and take your life back.

I blame a few things for my boomerang somersault back into anorexia. The pandemic, the riots, Chicago's quiet and the years it took Chicago to regain its composure. I told myself that living comfortably in hell, (hell being isolation in a 400 square foot shop away from family and having to make a living to keep ingrained alive for more than a year) made me wiser faster smarter stronger and what's worse is that the disease propelled these misconceptions to new heights. The disease gave my crazed brain the "keys to the car," so-to-speak, and created a reality in which I couldn't help but think my perception was absolute.

The less you nourish yourself in life, especially restricting vehicles of magnetic strength like sleep, communication, FOOD, the less you can show up for the people around you. You deplete the color from your saturation, you lower your standards and you ultimately cannot treat others with the respect they deserve because you aren't treating yourself with respect.

What helps me most on my worst days is looking at photos of how malnourished and sick I looked. When I do it, I automatically think any bellyache or mind fuck I'm in is worth the struggle to not go back to "her”. Another mind fuck--"she" is always around the corner. Leaning into her at all is the most vulnerable idiotic thing I can consider and I know this, but she still attracts me in the sickest of ways.

I know I'm not alone, which is why I have the strength inside me to share it publicly. I'll never be too proud to speak about this because it is what has made me unique and catapulted me to build a company built around strength of mind and of self. We have it. The voice of dignity of self affirmation of happiness and peace inside us all!! Leverage it and let it fuckin’ RIP!!

I’ll be sharing more soon…. xoxo, Syd